Silver Touch
by Sumer9
Summary: OotP Spoilers - Acceptance, trust, friendship, betrayal, hatred, guilt - While picking up the shattered fragments of his heart, Lupin realizes what he cannot live without anymore - revenge.
1. Lost Memories

Author's Notes  
  
No characters mentioned in this fanfiction belong to me, as there aren't any original characters involved. My respects to J. K. Rowling, Warner Brothers, Scholastic and others who own Harry Potter & Co. I do not make profit from this fanfiction of any sorts.  
  
This book is set during Harry's 6th year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. I have devised a lengthy and complicated plot, which surely will disagree with whatever occurs in Rowling's upcoming book 6. However, this is merely a fanfiction sprouted from the overactive imagination of an avid Harry Potter fan. Please do not inform me that I am 'wrong' or 'being unrealistic' - hello, exactly how realistic can somebody get trying to write about wizardry and werewolves and magic?  
  
Also, OotP spoilers in here...blah blah...read at your own risk...  
  
Reviews are appreciated, and constructive criticism is more than welcome. If you'd like to flame, kindly tell me what you didn't like about the story as opposed to pelting me with words that I dare not write here.  
  
I truly hope you'll enjoy this fanfiction. I have put much thought and time into it. Without further ado, I am proud to present...  
  
~  
  
Chapter 1  
  
Lost Memories  
  
~  
  
Remus J. Lupin squinted at his reflection in the mirror, disbelieving what it was showing. On a usual basis, it revealed a scruffy-looking man in his mid-thirties with brownish, amber hair bespeckled gray and tired chestnut eyes. But this evening of September 1, as Remus gazed at himself, he saw a person who made even a house elf beautiful and elegantly poised.  
  
"Oy, did Prince Charming get lost in the Muggle dump?" his old, varnished mirror teased, emitting chuckles. But it wasn't like Lupin could disagree. He looked like hell.  
  
Lupin's eyes were completely bloodshot, thick red veins running across the whites of his eyes. His skin was whiter than chalk, and his hair was sticking up in all 360 degrees it possibly could. Though usually dressed shabbily, today the wizard was donned in loose black robes patched up everywhere imaginable a thousand times. They were covered with grime, blood and other filth. He looked and smelled like someone's dinner after being set out for a week on the front porch.  
  
Lupin gave a great yawn that showed the tips of his canines, sharp and just a tad larger than the average man's. It'd been a tiring week, tracking down various Death Eaters for the Order. Lupin hadn't eaten nor slept for over two days. Now finally back in his small and humble home, hunger and exhaustion were the only things on his mind.  
  
Without really noticing what he was doing, Remus stripped off all his clothing and turned on the shower. The water pounded like ice daggers upon his face and neck, but even that couldn't keep him from sleepily closing his eyelids for many seconds at a time. He subconsciously poured some shampoo over his head and lathered himself. 15 minutes later, a very wet and soporific wizard climbed out of the bathtub. Wrapped in a towel, he staggered into his own tidy bedroom and managed to pull on pajama bottoms before collapsing onto his bed. Lupin was asleep before his head hit the pillow.  
  
~  
  
Amazingly, Lupin was soon approaching his 19th hour of sleep when a loud, rude tapping snapped him out of his slumber. Rubbing a bleary eye and ignoring the demanding growl that emitted from his stomach, Remus looked around frantically for the source of the interruption. His eyes fell on the small window of his bedroom, where a large snow-white owl was irritably rapping on the glass. It was Hedwig, Harry Potter's owl. She clamped a sealed envelope in her beak.  
  
Quickly, Lupin flung off the covers, hurried over and opened his window. He could've done it in bed with his wand, but at the moment his wand was still in the bathroom, probably hidden under a pile of the disgusting tattered robes he'd discarded off himself the night before. Hedwig flew in immediately, dropped the letter on Lupin's bureau, perched herself importantly on the windowsill and ruffled her feathers irritably.  
  
Now fully awake, Lupin picked up the envelope. It bore the Hogwarts seal, and a familiar untidy scrawl on the front addressed, 'Remus Lupin'. Just looking at Harry's handwriting made Lupin think of James...  
  
Lupin shook his head slightly and blinked back the tears welling behind his eyes, suddenly furious at himself.  
  
Get a hold of yourself, Moony, he thought to himself angrily. James died a decade and a half ago, and crying about it isn't going to bring him back. You're his son's closest thing to a father now. Do you really think Harry'd want you to lose control every time you saw a letter he wrote? Stop being so sentimental.  
  
Lupin opened the tightly sealed envelope with trembling delicate fingers, making sure not to tear anything inside.  
  
September 3  
  
Dear Remus,  
  
How are you? I know you're probably really tired. Dumbledore told me you had to do something for the Order, so I couldn't send Hedwig until today, when I knew you'd be back.  
I'm doing well. I'm glad to be back at Hogwarts - the Dursleys were so strange and distant over the summer because of what happened with Dudley. Dumbledore has gotten rid of my Quidditch ban, so I'm on the team again with Ron. He's gotten a lot better. Snape's started the lessons again - I'm sure you know what I'm talking about. He's treating me the usual, which is what I expected anyway. We have a new Defense teacher. Better than Umbridge (Lupin couldn't help but smile), but nowhere close to what you were.  
There's a Hogsmeade trip on October 1. D'you think you could come and visit? How does an evening at the Three Broomsticks sound to you? And don't worry about your condition...not that anybody cares, anyway. Dumbledore's gotten it under control.  
I hope you're doing well. Please write back as soon as possible.  
  
Harry  
  
P.S. Ron and Hermoine send their best wishes. Neville says hi.  
  
Lupin read the letter over two more times, but he didn't really miss anything the first time. A part of him felt relaxed and relieved after reading Harry's letter to know that the 16-year old was doing okay. Harry had gone through in his years at Hogwarts an unbelievable amount of events, and last year, he almost broke when Sirius died.  
  
Dumbledore knew Harry needed somebody to be there for him, someone who also knew what it felt like to lose Sirius in such an intimate way. And who else but Lupin, whom Sirius had been friends with since age 10? Ever since the last confrontation with Voldemort and the death of Padfoot, Lupin made sure to take over the 'father figure' role to Harry. He wasn't Sirius, and he definitely wasn't James, but now he was the closest thing Harry would ever have for a true parent. They'd been exchanging letters ever since the whole ordeal at the Ministry of Magic. Although Sirius' name was never brought up (Lupin had a bad feeling that a part of Harry still didn't want to believe the death), the two wizards were both well aware of each other's pain in dealing with the convicted wizard's passing.  
  
With thoughts still on Harry, Lupin absentmindedly made his bed, crossed the room and started to head for the bathroom when a loud hoot made him turn around. Hedwig had one black eye fixed on him, glaring daggers. He'd forgotten the great owl was still in the room during his ruminations.  
  
"Oh," Lupin murmured. "You're expecting a reply, aren't you?"  
  
Hedwig gave another hoot in response.  
  
"It's alright, I'll use an owl from Hogsmeade," said the wizard. Apparently, it wasn't the right thing to say. Hedwig squawked indignantly at him and stood up a bit straighter as if to show off her strength and agility. Lupin gave a soft laugh, something he hadn't done for a while.  
  
"No, no, I'm not saying you're not up to the job. I just need time to think about what I'll write. Go back to Harry, alright?" These words seemed to satisfy Hedwig. With one last ruffle of her snowy feathers and an irritable glance back at the man, she soared out of his room and into the evening sky. Lupin watched the beautiful owl grow smaller and smaller, until she was just a speck of white amongst silver stars...and then his sharp eyes saw her no more.  
  
~  
  
Hedwig's arrival seemed to have made Lupin lost his appetite for a while, but as soon as she left, he realized that food had not been placed into his stomach for almost three days and he was absolutely famished. Before heading down to the kitchen, however, he made sure to brush his immaculately sharp teeth again and place his filthy robes in the hamper. Lupin was always the neat one, sometimes so neat it drove others crazy.  
  
Like Sirius, for example. Out of the four of the Marauders, handsome, popular Sirius might've been most laid-back toward his catharsis duties. He hated making his bed or putting away his clothes. It wasn't out of ignorance nor laziness - Sirius just had better things to do in life than organize bedsheets. He never understood why Remus bothered to clean everything up, not for himself only but for others, too.  
  
"Are you sure you're a werewolf and not actually some really hairy house- elf?" Sirius would laugh whenever Lupin threw their chocolate frog wrappers into the wastebasket from their nightstands. "Come on, we've got to go down for breakfast. Let the elves do it."  
  
And Remus would frown slightly while absentmindedly smoothing adjusting his collar, but say nothing. Over the years, James, Peter and eventually Sirius got used to his impeccable organization. But Sirius never changed, no. He was his own person, however sloppy that person was.  
  
In the small and orderly kitchen, Lupin quickly made himself a meal of chicken, salad and pasta. He ate all the food, but all he could think of was how a year and a half ago, Sirius was his roommate for a few months after being sent by Dumbledore to 'lie low' at the werewolf's flat. Remus and Sirius both loved chicken (maybe it was their canine aliases) and although Sirius was naturally a horrible cook, he made Remus teach him how to roast chicken and eventually could perfect the crispness of the poultry skin or exactly how much spice to add.  
  
By the time Lupin finished his meal, he felt miserable. Every single little thing that he did reminded him of Sirius or James and Lily...  
  
Over the course of the past 16 years, Lupin's life had been an emotional roller coaster. As a child, he was always introverted and withdrew from the other young wizards due to his condition. Lupin, the abnormal one. Lupin, the freak. How he wanted to fit in, to have friends...and that chance came to him when the owl arrived years ago on that beautiful Saturday morning, accepting him...  
  
And in Hogwarts, Remus Lupin experienced the happiest 7 years of his life. He made friends, true friends, who valued him for who he was, not what he was. James and Peter and Sirius risked their lives to be with Remus whenever he turned into a werewolf. They had adventures. They had the time of their lives. They did stupid things. They broke an infinite number of school rules. But it didn't matter that much to Lupin, he was accepted, and that was what was important when he was young.  
  
But he should've known that Sirius and James' ignorance would one day lead to their downfall. Little Pettigrew, the follower, the meek and hesitating sycophant...who would've guessed that once out of Hogwarts, Wormtail would go and betray Lily and James into the hands of Lord Voldemort? Who could've suspected weak, naïve Wormtail? Wouldn't Sirius Black be a more likely target? Wouldn't the dark, powerful wizard who had everything he'd ever wanted have a greater thirst for power...and who better to serve than Voldemort himself?  
  
And for 12 dark years, both Sirius and Lupin lived their lives in misery. Sirius, trapped in the prime of his life, completely innocent, was tortured and starved and ravaged endlessly, grasping on to his innocence for a shred of survival. And Remus Lupin, who roamed the lands, always rejected. It was Lupin whose best friends were all snatched away from him, who was left alone and in a pit of misery again. Everybody was gone...nobody cared anymore about the vagabond, tattered werewolf, until Albus Dumbledore saved Lupin again by offering him a job as the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher.  
  
And there, in Harry's 13th year in Hogwarts, the truth revealed itself. Pettigrew's betrayal. Sirius' innocence. Lupin's...condition. Everything would've been right if Pettigrew had been taken...but an unlucky turn of events flipped everything upside down...  
  
And although two years later, Sirius was still convicted, he wasn't imprisoned for the crime he never committed. He and Lupin had restored their long-lost friendship in the months they spent together working for the Order. Lupin had someone again, someone who really knew him. They were the last of the Marauders (Lupin didn't like to even think of Pettigrew as a Marauder...it'd be an insult to him). And over the months, the old friends got to know each other in a more mature way, without the recklessness or the naivete. They became best friends again, despite their differences. Sirius could always make Lupin laugh with his sarcastic remarks...  
  
And his death was a silver dagger to Lupin's werewolf heart. The moment Sirius staggered into the veil, the second Harry screamed his godfather's name out-Lupin knew. He knew Sirius was gone, gone forever behind the darkness. His sensible, foolproof brain was completely aware of that, but his heart told him otherwise. No, not Sirius. Couldn't be Sirius-Sirius had a life to live. He had a name to clear. Torn between his heart and his brain, Lupin had impulsively shot his arm around Harry, for the young wizard was struggling to save Sirius through that damned veil...and once his arms were wrapped around Harry's waist, he could not let go, he was deadlocked. Seeing Harry struggling, screaming for Sirius was EXACTLY what James would've been doing, offering to risk his own life to save another no matter how bad the consequences were.  
  
James might've been a thousand times more ignorant of people in general than Harry, but Lupin knew in his heart and soul that James would've done the same, the very same, disbelieving that Sirius was dead in all his ignorance, pretending that what he didn't want didn't happen...trying to get back to Sirius...  
  
Lupin found himself in tears, staring dully at the whitewashed wall of his kitchen and sitting in front of his empty plates. He hated crying, it reminded him too much of the days when he was a child and wept himself to sleep after a day of taunting and insulting. It reminded him of James and Lily's death, of Peter's betrayal, of everything bad that had ever happened to him. But deep down in his heart, Lupin knew that this was the lowest he'd ever sink to. Sirius was gone-for good. He was innocent, he was brilliant, he was damn good-looking, but he was gone at the hands of both Bellatrix and Wormtail.  
  
The solitary werewolf wiped his tears away and mindlessly put the dishes in the sink to be done later. He returned to his room, sat down on the neat and made bed, and allowed himself to wallow no more in his pain as he closed weary eyelids and fell into a deep, dreamless sleep. Lupin knew that only through what he could not control, like being unconscious, would ever rid him of the guilt and the rage and the agony that writhed inside him every moment his eyes were open.  
  
~  
  
A/N: Well, I know not much happened in this chapter, but I wanted to introduce the situation and setting and how Lupin's feeling toward Sirius' death. I'd love feedback! 


	2. Sent By Molly

A/N: Thanks to those who reviewed chapter 1!  
  
~  
  
Chapter 2  
  
Sent by Molly  
  
~  
  
Since the evening Lupin came back from that utterly draining mission for the Order, the days flew by. He made a few more minor investigation trips for Dumbledore, but nothing as exhausting as the first. When he wasn't out of his small home, Lupin busied himself with cleaning, gardening and cooking. He found that these simple house chores really gave him something useful to do with his time and took his mind off of James and Sirius.  
  
But when the sun set and his hands were too tired for weeding or cleaning, Lupin found himself brooding almost every night. He suffered from insomnia with all the guilt and anger would come rushing to him in torrents and often had to perform a charm on himself to give him sleep.  
  
He spent his days alone, apart from the rest of the world except through letters. And everybody wrote to him, especially those from the Order. It was as if he were a little boy, living alone in the wild forest lurking with dangerous beasts (as if he wasn't one himself). Dumbledore, Tonks, Harry, Mundungus, Arabella, the Weasleys (Molly kept on sending chocolates, too, which Lupin appreciated greatly) all endlessly wrote parchments of letters, asking him how he was, informing him on anything and everything, making sure he was still functioning. The wizard didn't mind though. Lupin took a lot of time to reply to these letters. He could usually be seen at the kitchen table, chewing absentmindedly on his quill and then scribbling away like mad on a parchment. Writing letters was like a much more enjoyable way of homework.  
  
He was always delighted to hear especially from Harry. In the weeks that passed, Lupin was updated on practically everything in Harry's life. How the young wizard was doing, what was happening with Ron and Hermoine, the outcome of the first Quidditch game (Slytherin vs. Gryffindor, and Lupin was tremendously glad to hear that Gryffindor creamed their opponents)...all this and more poured out from Harry's eager letters. And every once in a while, Harry would ask an academic question or ask about a problem and Lupin would give his best advice, as he felt Sirius would have done.  
  
Life was solitary, but going along relatively smoothly. So after not seeing his few colleagues and friends for a while, Lupin was quite surprised one Thursday morning, when the first thing he saw was an attractive, red-haired witch casually studying her nails (painted a deep purple with silver stars) sitting at his desk and humming under her breath.  
  
"Tonks!" Lupin exclaimed louder than he intended as he immediately sat up, causing the witch to look up and accidentally bang her elbow on his bureau. Hard.  
  
"Wha - ow! Ow...oh, that hurts like a-"  
  
"What're you doing here?" the now-awake wizard interrupted a very foul word that slipped out of Tonks' mouth. "I'm still in my nightclothes!"  
  
"Ow...oh...don't worry, I've seen worse...nice pajamas...ow...just wanted to see if you were still alive...ow...what kind of wood is this thing made of?" she rapped the desk with her knuckles, causing a few papers to slide off.  
  
"No seriously, tell me why you came, is it something for Dumbledore?" Lupin demanded, getting up and starting to make his bed.  
  
"No, nothing..."  
  
"Did you come here to give me my Wolfsbane potion, then?" he persisted, smoothing the corner of his blanket.  
  
"Er, no...Snape told me he was going to send a package through the post..."  
  
Lupin sighed. "Then that leaves us with one more answer. Molly sent you."  
  
Tonks looked suddenly very alert. Her voice raised a couple of octaves and she managed to squeak out very quickly, "Molly? Send me? Uh, no! No, what are you talking about, Remus? Molly would never-"  
  
"Okay then, Molly sent you," Lupin gave another exasperated sigh. "But why? I've replied to all her letters, assuring her that I'm fine..."  
  
Tonks turned as red as her hair. Lupin was reminded instantly of Ginny Weasley.  
  
"What is it?"  
  
"Well, uh, Molly wanted to make sure you ate all her uh, chocolates," Tonks muttered very quickly.  
  
For the first time in many weeks, Lupin laughed, disbelieving the ludicrous reason Tonks flew halfway across Britain for.  
  
"Well," Tonks gestured to the empty chocolate boxes stuffed neatly in the wastebin, "Looks like you did your job. I'll have to send her an owl, or she might just tear my right arm off. Still addicted, huh?"  
  
"Yeah, I try to eat as much as possible when I'm human, because I can't eat chocolate as a wolf," Lupin smiled. "Poisonous. Say, are you in a hurry to go anywhere after this? Why don't you stay here for a while? I'd love some company."  
  
"Sure," Tonks beamed. "Well, if chocolate's so poisonous, remind me to give you some when you transform for laughing so hard. Mmmmm...I'm hungry. You go get dressed. You know, you should wear that color more often. Brings out your eyes. I'm going to make breakfast."  
  
Lupin looked down at his faded, comfortable sky blue pajamas.  
  
"What are you talking about? I don't have blue eyes."  
  
Tonks shrugged. "Meh, beats the heck outta me. Potato, pahtatah. Boy do I need coffee. Au revoir, monsieur." She exited the bedchamber in a flurry of red hair, leaving Lupin laughing behind her.  
  
~  
  
Lupin and Tonks spent a very enjoyable day together. After a slightly burnt breakfast (Tonks had never used a toaster before), they shed their cloaks and pretended to be Muggles as they walked down Lupin's street, catching up on all the news.  
  
"So have you talked to Severus?" Lupin asked at one point, walking briskly alongside Tonks, who was grumbling after she tripped over her boots ("Stupid Muggle boots...they look awesome and cost me my right arm but are so effing uncomfortable!"). The walk was very relaxing...the weather was pleasantly chilly and there were no Muggles outside on this Thursday morning.  
  
"Snape? Oh, yeah, told me to tell you he'd be sending the potion. Not a very friendly guy," Tonks wrinkled her nose. "Needs to shampoo," she added with an afterthought.  
  
Remus Lupin found himself laughing at Tonks' innocent wit many more times as they played a game of chess after the walk (Lupin would've won if Tonks hadn't 'accidentally' knocked over all the pieces after 'accidentally' dropping her bishop), grabbed a quick lunch, and found themselves after the meal at the local library.  
  
"Remus...why're we here?" Tonks asked loudly as they stepped in the large, quiet building. A few students sitting nearby shot her contemptuous looks. "Oooh, look, Muggles!" she pointed excitedly at them, causing them to exchange raise eyebrows with each other and giggle.  
  
"Shhhhhh..." Lupin grabbed her arm and steered her away from the students. "This is a public place for Muggles, you can't point and 'Oooh!' at them every time you see one, Tonks! And talk quietly, because people are studying."  
  
"Oh, okay," said Tonks, still in a very audible voice. "But why're we here?"  
  
Lupin smiled sheepishly. "I kind of like reading Muggle books, they're very interesting. I wanted to show you some."  
  
But Tonks was already immersed in a selection. "Wow," she stared at the cover of Les Miserables. "This is wild...the pictures don't move! Man, that must be so incredibly boring...can't they even blink?"  
  
"No, of course not. Yes, that's an excellent book...one of my favorites, in fact. Why don't you check it out?" Lupin offered.  
  
"Wow, you can take these home?" Tonks' eyes widened, still staring at the cover, as if the girl on it would blink if she happened to turned away.  
  
By the end of that evening, Lupin and Tonks walked away from the library, each holding a fairly large amount of books, videos, magazines...Tonks was interested in everything the library had to offer.  
  
"So I guess you liked the library, huh?" Lupin remarked casually on their way to his house.  
  
"Mmm hmmm. Do you go there a lot?" she asked, steadying a copy of Time magazine that was threatening to drop.  
  
"Once every month or so. It's quite relaxing. You know, you should really try to visit these Muggle places, they're actually quite fascinating if you appreciate Muggle intellect without magic. I think it's dull to just live in the world of wizarding when there's a whole other culture right on your street," Lupin said pensively as they headed up the steps to his small home (it was hidden from Muggle eyes).  
  
"Okay, well, I'll send these books back by owl as soon as I finish them," Tonks replied as Lupin held the door open for her and she dumped them onto his couch.  
  
"Alright, that sounds good," Lupin replied.  
  
"Listen, Remus," said Tonks, turning to look at Lupin. "Thanks so much for everything. For taking me to the library, especially, that was a lot of fun. I really enjoyed your company."  
  
"And I yours," Lupin smiled at her.  
  
"But I've got to go. I really do, and it's urgent-"  
  
"Where?" Lupin asked curiously.  
  
"Oh, um, just some uh, business stuff, ya know?" Tonks said uncomfortably. "I can't hang around here longer, though I'd personally love to stay for a few more days."  
  
"Well, could I tempt you with some dinner? I'd hate for you to fly on an empty stomach..."  
  
Tonks smiled. "Remus, you're so nice sometimes that it amazes me. But I can't, I have to go."  
  
Lupin nodded thoughtfully and helped Tonks stuff the last novel (a copy of the Lord of the Rings) into her bag. Tonks grabbed her Nimbus 2001 and Lupin carried the load of borrowed materials for her as they stepped out his door.  
  
"Well, bye, I guess. Fly safely, Tonks," Lupin said to her. "And if anything happens, come right back here-"  
  
Tonks laughed. "Don't worry about me. I know I'm clumsy, but I've gotten better at flying than the last time you saw me. Thanks again, Remus. Goodbye."  
  
Tonks wrapped her arms around Lupin briefly for a friendly embrace, and then she mounted her broom and slung her laden bag over her shoulder. Within seconds, all Lupin could see was a flaming bright red speck of her hair in the darkened night sky before it blended into the deep blue expanse above him.  
  
After a quiet and silent solitary dinner, Lupin's high spirits were slowly sinking again. All he could think of Tonks, and how much fun he had today with her. He missed her bright eyes and her silvery laugh, even the way she tripped over everything imaginable. Lupin finally head back into his room to do some serious reading and to his great surprise, found a letter from Severus and a Hogwarts owl on his desk. The words were written in Snape's small, drawn handwriting.  
  
Remus,  
  
Dumbledore has informed me that I cannot send your potion by post in case it would be intercepted. I therefore urge you to come to Hogsmeade tomorrow the 31st to pick it up, as I do not have the time nor the patience to travel to your home to personally deliver it. I do believe you shall need it tomorrow night, for obvious reasons.  
  
Severus Snape  
  
Lupin was taken aback immediately after reading Snape's letter. The thirty- first? October? Already two months or so had passed? He could hardly believe it-the days flew by so quickly! He hastily scribbled back a note.  
  
Yes, I shall be at Hogsmeade. How about we meet in the Three Broomsticks?  
  
Sincerely, Remus  
  
After sending his note off with the owl, Lupin got ready and dressed for bed. He turned on his lamp and picked up the book he was reading, but after a few minutes, found his mind wandering to Hogsmeade several times. For the first time in many weeks, he'd be seeing Harry, Hermoine, Ron, Snape, Hagrid, Dumbledore...Lupin hadn't realized how much he missed everybody's company, even cold, distant Severus.  
  
The idea of seeing Harry, especially, made him feel a lot better. He'd thought of the young wizard a lot  
  
The wizard set his book down and with a flick of his wand, turned off the light. He settled into a light and relaxing sleep, and for the first time in many nights, didn't dream of Sirius Black.  
  
~  
  
A/N: Did anybody like that chapter? Personally, I had a great time writing it...it was really fun, especially with Tonks' spunky personality. Speaking of Tonks, you may be thinking about possible potential for a slight romance. Hmmmm...is there anybody who would object or like that? Please review and let me know, I'd really appreciate it! Merci beaucoup. 


	3. Hogsmeade

~  
  
Chapter 3  
  
Hogsmeade  
  
~  
  
Lupin arrived at Hogsmeade at precisely 9:30 AM on October the 31st, All Hallows Eve. He wore his usual old cloak (with his wand tucked into its pocket, of course), a light breezy Muggle shirt underneath and very baggy pants that had once fit him well, but now hung loosely at his thin waist after loosing quite a lot of weight. Not surprisingly, the wizard looked very tattered and shabby. But all this didn't matter to Harry - the moment he spotted his old Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, his eyes widened and hurried over to Lupin, weaving his way through the mesh of eager Hogwarts students.  
  
"Professor Lupin!" Harry beamed upon reaching possibly his favorite teacher. Still the same...James' hair, Lily's eyes...  
  
"Harry, you don't have to call me that," Lupin replied, but he did appreciate the fact that at least one person thought he'd been a good enough teacher to address him by that title. "I'm not your professor anymore."  
  
"You're a better professor at Defense Against the Dark Arts than all of our previous and recent ones put together," Hermoine said, breathless after running after Harry. She and Ron had arrived alongside their friend. Hermoine had grown, Lupin noticed. Besides being a whole lot taller, her hair was longer and smoother, and well, her feminine features were really starting to show on her body. He wasn't surprised to see Ron's eyes linger on her for a second too long before the tall, redheaded wizard also spoke up.  
  
"Ahem...I believe a person named Gil-" he began.  
  
"Oh shut up," Hermoine snapped at Ron. "It was a stupid schoolgirl's crush, alright?"  
  
"You're still a schoolgirl, Hermoine."  
  
She rolled her eyes. "Well, a lot better one than you."  
  
At this, Ron's ears turned pink, but he was still grinning.  
  
"Well, before you start to redefine the word red, Ron, I'm going to the Post. Our school owls are so stupid sometimes...I sent a letter to mum and got a reply from this crazy old lady who called me 'Frederick' and told me to stop setting the zoo's animals loose on her." The young witch made a face, and then left with a wave to Lupin, leaving Ron and Harry laughing behind her.  
  
"She could always have borrowed Hedwig," Harry shrugged after laughing.  
  
"Where is she, anyway?" Ron asked. "I haven't seen her for a while."  
  
"Oh, delivering some stuff. Hope she didn't get lost...I have her quite a few errands. Well, she's not that stupid."  
  
"Oy!" Ron exclaimed. "Speaking of stupid, I've got to head for Zonko's. Fred and George have this new gum that makes grass grow from your nose stocked there...I've got to give some to Ginny. See ya later!" He dashed off toward the shop, which was fairly crowded with students eager to plot revenge or embarrass their friends.  
  
"So," Lupin turned to Harry. Immediately, his eyes fell to Harry's jet- black hair and the little tufts that stuck vertically up. Flashes of the millions of times James always smoothed his hair down came into his mind-  
  
"Er, Prof-I mean, Remus?" Harry raised an eyebrow.  
  
Lupin gave himself a mental slap.  
  
"Sorry, Harry, I got a bit...distracted," he said quietly. "I believe we have a bit of catching up to do. How does a bottle of Butterbeer sound to you?"  
  
"Sounds great!" Harry replied enthusiastically. The two wizards set off at an easy pace as they headed toward the Three Broomsticks. Along the way, Lupin was in the middle of explaining how to levitate something without your wand when suddenly-  
  
"Oof!" A ball of black robes and short brown hair bumped into Lupin, causing him to instinctively whip around to see who (or what) had crashed into him.  
  
"Sorry - sir - ouch -" the boy's eyes widened upon seeing Lupin. "P-p- professor Lupin? Is that really you?"  
  
Neville Longbottom's face cracked into a big smile and was about to say something, when a cold, soft drawl wiped the grin off his chubby face. Beside him, Lupin could feel Harry tense up.  
  
"Watch where you're going, Longbottom. You might just end up in the...wrong place," Draco Malfoy's pale eyebrow arched dramatically, his frosty eyes boring into Neville's. Neville looked terrified.  
  
"I'd say the same for your father," Harry suddenly said very loudly. Lupin was quite shocked by this bold act. He placed a cautious hand on Harry's shoulder, and he watched as Malfoy's face tinged pink. Draco's cold, steel eyes were focused on Harry's, so full of hatred, that between the two of them, the world seemed to stop altogether. Lupin doubted whether Draco was even aware that a full-grown wizard was standing three feet away from him. Their animosity toward each other was highly similar to that of Sirius and Severus'...  
  
"My father is no concern of yours," Draco's voice lowered dangerously, leaning close to Harry. "And at least he had the wit to stay alive-"  
  
"Ahem," Lupin immediately intervened, for he saw Harry's fingers close around his wand and even felt a rare surge of rage fill inside himself. "Draco. How nice to see you. I assume you are doing well?" he said mildly, though his tone a bit chillier than usual.  
  
Draco's eyes flickered down to survey Lupin's tattered old clothes, and when he met his eyes again, there was a faint smirk on his face.  
  
"Why Professor, of course. And I see...you haven't changed a bit," Draco's voice was like ice, and his eyes glittered maliciously.  
  
"Well, I daresay that in certain events," Lupin's voice lilted a little, "change can be good. But of course, there are some people who-" he paused "- just don't change their old ways, even though they say they do..."  
  
A tense silence followed, filled with many cold glares and tightening jaws. Draco's face kept flushing deeper and deeper red.  
  
"Well, Harry," Lupin finally broke the quietness. "We've got some Butterbeer to attend to. Have a nice day, Neville. Draco, it's always a pleasure."  
  
And with that, Lupin and Harry turned around and walked into the Three Broomsticks. The bar was filled with people, happily chattering away. Lupin and Harry took seats on a couple of high stools with comfortable purple cushions. They called for drinks, and within minutes, two large mugs filled to the brim with golden bubbling liquid sat in front of the two wizards.  
  
"So how have you been?" were the first real words that tumbled out of Lupin's mouth as he raised the mug to his lips.  
  
"The usual, I guess," Harry said after gulping a mouthful of Butterbeer. "Draco's still reeks, but I kind of got used to that now. Don't really care about what he thinks anymore."  
  
Lupin nodded thoughtfully before speaking, choosing his words carefully on the delicate subject.  
  
"A part of me almost pities him," he murmured.  
  
"Pity? Why?"  
  
Lupin looked at Harry quickly, contemplating whether he should speak more.  
  
"Well, everything that's been happening with his father is quite a shock to Draco, I imagine. Nobody likes to have his or her father in Azkaban - even if it's the worst father you could possibly imagine. Trust me, I know. Azkaban is worse than the fires of hell itself."  
  
Harry looked surprised, almost impressed. "How do you know? You've never been arrested, have you?"  
  
Lupin laughed softly. "No, I haven't. But I have gone there to visit..." he trailed off, unsure of what Harry'd react if he even uttered the name.  
  
"Sirius." Harry finished the sentence for him in a hollow voice. Lupin noticed he broke off any eye contact with anybody except for the mug in his hands.  
  
"Yeah. Sirius," Lupin took a large swallow of his drink to cover the tears that'd built up in his eyes. He racked his brains for something to say, but everything that echoed in his mind sounded lame. Lupin suddenly wished he'd never mentioned Azkaban, let alone Sirius...  
  
"Excuse me," a familiar, hard voice interrupted the awful silence that had settled between Lupin and Harry. The two wizards looked up to see Severus Snape, Potions professor at Hogwarts, with a vial in his thin, white fingers and a most unpleasant expression upon his face. He looked no different than the last time Lupin saw him. Black hair that hung in his face, a sharp set of cold eyes, full of hatred...  
  
Lupin and Harry were the closest people to both James and Sirius, whom had been archenemies with Snape 20 years ago...  
  
"Severus," Lupin said politely. "Ah, I see you've brought the potion."  
  
"Indeed," Snape said through gritted teeth, his ice grey eyes locked with Lupin's amber ones. He brusquely shoved the vial of green liquid into Lupin's arms. "This should last for the next few days or so."  
  
"Much thanks, Professor Snape," spoke Lupin, carefully placing the vial into his robe pocket, where it clicked against his wand. "Say, you wouldn't want to join Harry and me here for a round of Butterbeer, would you?"  
  
At this, Harry stiffened abruptly, but Lupin pretended not to have noticed. The three of them had all had quite fanciful lives, and over the past many years they'd crossed paths so often. Snape, Lupin and Harry really needed to get along on a friendlier basis. Lupin hoped with all his might that Snape would for once, say yes and join them in a social situation. He waited, anticipating Snape's answer, hoping, hoping...  
  
"No, I wouldn't," Snape said simply. Lupin's world crashed down, but a part of him had been expecting it anyway. Severus, the cold one, the calculating one...  
  
"Very well, Severus. I thank you again for the potion." Lupin called as Snape briskly wheeled around and headed out the door. Harry, beside him, suddenly burst into talk.  
  
"Prof-I mean, Remus, why'd you do that? Why'd you invite him? Don't you know how much he hates me? And the way he was looking at you - he wants to rip your head off! Are you aware of how much he hates you, too?"  
  
Lupin sighed. "Of course he hates both of us, for very stupid reasons really, but I just wanted to be a little more amiable with him. Harry, he IS part of the Order. You can't ignore that, no matter how cold and cruel Snape can be." Lupin shrugged. "Well, don't start growing white hairs like me about it. He apparently didn't want to join us anyway."  
  
"Stupid git," Harry muttered. Lupin didn't bother to tell him otherwise - he personally agreed with Harry. The older wizard studied Harry's young face, which looked extremely troubled and dark. And angry. His green eyes were clouded over, darkened with rage...Almost immediately, Lupin knew exactly what was on Harry's mind.  
  
"Harry?" he asked quietly, reaching over and touching his hand. "Are you alright?"  
  
A quick glance, a nervous twitch in the mouth. It was so damned farmilliar...  
  
"Yeah, of course I am," Harry lied.  
  
"No you're not. You're thinking about Pettigrew."  
  
Harry looked extremely taken aback. "How'd you know?" he demanded.  
  
Lupin lowered his voice into a hoarse whisper, forcing the words from his lips. "You have the same expression on your face as Sirius did whenever he thought about Wormtail."  
  
Harry started again. Remus was overwhelmed by how quickly the young wizard reacted to Sirius' name, how his green eyes clouded over, how his jaw tightened. But after a moment, he looked up and met Lupin's eyes.  
  
"Yeah, I was thinking about him," he said simply.  
  
"What about him?"  
  
Harry shifted in his seat uneasily.  
  
"That's okay, you don't have to tell me if it makes you feel more comfortable," Lupin said, but he secretly was burning to know what was going on.  
  
"No, it's not that. I'm not the right person to tell you. Dumbledore should. He's the one who told me," said Harry.  
  
"Alright," Lupin settled on that.  
  
"Remus! Remus Lupin, I knew it! I foresaw your visit!" A misty, sickly voice pierced through the air. Lupin, knowing exactly who was addressing him, winced slightly. Harry noticed this.  
  
"Professor Trelawney," he greeted the bespeckled woman. She looked just the same, with her great lenses, dozens of glittering bracelets and the usual elaborate shawl wrapped around her thin shoulders.  
  
"Oh Remus, but you look terrible!" she said in an enchanting whisper as she whisked herself onto a stool beside Lupin. "I foresee great troubles for you, my dear, great troubles..."  
  
Harry suddenly had the great urge to snort, but he restrained himself from doing so, knowing that Lupin would not approve.  
  
"Really?" Lupin responded in his mild, languid manner. "Thank you for informing me of that, Sibyll."  
  
For the first time in her life, it seemed that Professor Trelawney had nothing to say. Harry, seeing the surprised expression on her face, figured it was because everybody always had a dramatic reaction when she announced her prophecies. But Lupin had acknowledged the information he had been given, calm as you please.  
  
Professor Trelawney cleared her throat.  
  
"Well, uh, Remus, enjoy the rest of your stay," she said a bit stiffly and left quickly. Lupin had to suppress a smile.  
  
"Wow, you really know what to say to the right people," Harry commented, picking up his second Butterbeer. "Useful, isn't it?"  
  
"Guess so," Lupin shrugged lightly. "Everyone has a weak spot, Harry. Obviously, mine is well, my condition. And after suffering from this as a child so often and putting up with all the pain...well, I start to notice everyone else's too. Draco's too proud of his filthy family to have it ripped apart. Snape's not too good socially. Trelawney needs people's eyes to glaze over when she speaks. Yeah, it's useful, if you want to drive someone away without being rude."  
  
Harry smiled, wiping off his Butterbeer mustache. "Fine. If you're so good, what's my weak spot?"  
  
Lupin had seen this coming, and he was prepared for it.  
  
"Well, most people don't want to know theirs," he said mildly. Harry wasn't fooled.  
  
"Come on, tell me," he gestured for Lupin to go on while downing half his mug in a great gulp.  
  
"Harry, it's not that important..."  
  
"It is to me."  
  
Lupin racked his brains, trying to think of something to say. Finally, he gave a small smile.  
  
"Nice weather, isn't it?" he said cheerfully.  
  
"Stop avoiding it!"  
  
"Fine. Fine. You really want to know?" Lupin asked seriously. Harry's eyes were determined, kind of what James looked like the second before his hands always closed around the Snitch. The wizard nodded firmly.  
  
"Yeah. I do."  
  
"Harry..." Lupin said softly, in one last attempt to sway him.  
  
"Yes? I want to know. Please."  
  
Hell, how was he going to tell him?  
  
"It's Sirius."  
  
Harry obviously hadn't been expecting this, although it was pretty obvious to anyone who saw his face whenever the deceased wizard's name was mentioned. He looked almost stunned to have heard those two simple words. Sirius. Of course. What else haunted him at night, what else brought tears to his eyes?  
  
"Oh," Harry said softly. "That." A visible shudder ripped through him. His eyes looked hollow.  
  
"Look, I'm sorry I brought it up-"  
  
"No-"  
  
"Yes-"  
  
"It's alright-"  
  
"But really-"  
  
"What are you two arguing about?" Hermoine's slightly bossy voice interrupted the awkward pair. The witch stopped absentmindedly brushing a few owl feathers off her cloak when she saw their serious faces.  
  
"Is this a bad time?" she said quietly.  
  
"No, not at all," Lupin sighed.  
  
"Well, Harry, we're leaving in a minute." Hermoine informed him.  
  
"What? It's only been an hour!" said Harry.  
  
Hermoine shrugged, looking as confused as Harry did. The wizard grimaced, but gathered up his wand and money from the counter.  
  
"Well," Harry said, turning to Lupin and looking him straight in the eye. "Goodbye, Remus. It was great talking to you."  
  
"Yeah, it was," Lupin replied sadly.  
  
"Bye then," Harry turned around and walked with Hermoine out the door, leaving Lupin in a mixed and anxious mood...  
  
~  
  
Two nights later, after Lupin regained control of his mind, he entered his bedroom. Sitting at the bureau were several fat letters, but what caught his attention was a thick bulky package wrapped securely in packaging paper. Someone had taken the time to carefully apply tape and glue...  
  
Lupin picked it up gingerly and slowly undid the wrapping...  
  
Out dropped a mirror. Old, rusty, dirty...  
  
"Oh, Harry," Lupin sobbed as he held Sirius' old mirror to his chest and the tears slid down his face in an endless downpour.  
  
~  
  
A/N: I'd love feedback, of any sort! 


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